Mother Rude to Wife

Me and my wife are very close. We share everything and I’m very happy with her. My mom is constantly rude to her. My wife is prudent and never replies to my mom. I told my mom I don’t like how she treats my wife and she replied that If I don’t like it then I need to go without her. Should I do it?

Sarah Bowman
Sarah Bowman, studied family dynamics formally and informally all my life

You should not visit your mother alone. It sounds like she is trying to get between you and your wife, which is just plain wrong. Some mothers are jealous when their sons switch loyalty from them (their mother who gave them birth) to their wives. But parents must learn to let go of their children and rejoice that their babies have grown up to be adults in their own right living their own lives. If your mother fails to do this and forces you to choose, I say choose your wife.

Do not let your mother’s jealousy get between you and your wife, especially since the two of you feel so close and are used to sharing everything. A solid marriage is precious and not to be taken for granted. Let your mother know that unless she makes nice to your wife she will not be seeing you, either, nor any children you may have. If you are lucky, that will bring her around. If not, expect to see very little of her. If the result is a happy marriage and peaceful home life, hopefully it will be worth the pain of not seeing your mother.


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