Young Girl Feels Trapped by Religion

I hate them all so much. They want to force their values on me and won’t let me do what I want. I’m so sick of them and I’m embarrassed to have them as my parents. Is there anyway I can stop being their daughter and live on my own? I really need help, what should I do??

Sarah Bowman

Sarah Bowman, observed family dynamics formally and informally all my life

Since I don’t know you or your situation, I will here address two possible situations and solutions: repressive rules and abuse.

You don’t indicate what you mean by “freedom.” It is normal for young people to feel an overwhelming desire for more freedom than parents see fit to give them. What house rules exist varies greatly from family to family. Unless you are being abused (treated in ways deemed illegal by the courts of your jurisdiction) children are obligated to live by the rules of their parents until they are eighteen. Calling the police won’t do any good; they can’t do anything.

If you are being abused, in many countries there are strategies in place to assist teens in trouble. At your age I would expect you to be in school. Can you speak with a guidance counsellor or teacher? If you are being abused, they should be able to help you get started in the right direction.

If you are not being abused outright but feel too frustrated with excessively restrictive rules, school counsellors may also be able to help you find ways to cope while living with your family. Depending on the situation and the opinion of the counsellor, attempt may be made at some intervention but don’t count on it. Mindset and moral support go a long way in being able to tolerate difficult life situations.

EDIT: I think that while I was writing my answer you changed your question from “Should I call the police on them” to “Should I sue them.” I responded to the first but no, you probably can’t sue them. Seek help for yourself as I suggested. If it is any consolation to you, I was raised in a horse and buggy Mennonite community, which to this day forbids the use of television, radio, and internet access. Drivers license is also forbidden and special dress is required for all ages, males and females, from new-born infant to death. I think I know something of what you’re going through. Two more years is not forever. In the meantime, can you get a job so that you will have money to live off when you turn eighteen?


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